Everyone hates me. I’m an inspector for Accountancy Solutions. I’m the guy who swoops into your place of work when your boss thinks someone’s nicking money or goods, and goes through the accounts to make sure things are in order. And if they’re not, it’s muggins here who points the finger at the likely culprit. I…
Author: Geoffrey David West
Good for Something
“Gotcha!” We were touching, chest-to-chest. I could smell his sweat. The whites of his eyes and the ebony black of his skin were an inch away from my face. And I was scared stiff. I knew beyond any doubt, that I was a few seconds away from death or serious injury. This was in 1962….
Black Shuck
Tales of a large black ghostly hound have been reported for centuries from all around the British Isles. However ‘Black Shuck’, also known as the ‘Spectre Hound’ or the ‘Hound of Hell’, the huge wild dog that portends disaster to anyone who sees it, is specific to parts of Norfolk and Suffolk, especially in coastal…
Winner Takes it All
“You’ve won a million pounds.” “Are you sure?”
Cut to the Quick
“I cut off my husband’s penis. But then of course you know that.” “But you’re sorry about it?”
Lucky Day
“May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back…” “Thanks,” I told the woman who was sitting in the shop doorway, a cheap sleeping bag crushed up beneath her.
Down and Out
I stood in the queue with all the other down-and-outs, wondering whether the food tasted as awful as it looked. It was a pretty dispiriting scene: a large church hall, stinking of unwashed bodies and misery. We shuffled forwards slowly, coughing, burping and grunting to each other.
Vertigo
“I killed my wife,” said the man sitting opposite me in the cable car. “Excuse me?” I answered, bemused, thinking I’d misheard him.
Acting Up
Working as an ‘extra’ on films can be fun, and years ago I tried my hand at it. It was an unusual film, and the director was an unusual person. He was an over-the-top American, and it was a story about a Scottish village that was taken over by lunatics. Walter J. Harrison insisted on…
No Worries
A chainsaw is a marvellous tool – or as my adopted Australian friends would call it ‘A bonza bit of gear’. It can slice through huge tree trunks like butter, and let me tell you you won’t want to grab an axe ever again once you’ve used one of those little beauties. See, I was…