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“Arise, Sir John.” After the tap on each shoulder by the Queen’s sword, the words she said evoked the chivalric romance of the days of the Knights of the Round Table, and indeed, I couldn’t quite believe it was all happening to me. True, I had led a long and busy life, done my best…
“You’ve done very well, Mary,” said George, who had produced a clipboard and pen, and was looking at me over his half-moon glasses with a patronising smile. He was every inch the city accountant: smart suit, neat silver hair and superficial charm. “You see, I’ve been meeting so many women via the dating site that…
I heard the shouting, went outside onto the landing of the block of flats, and saw the man with the gun. Then I saw him firing it. The other man fell down and didn’t get up. The Barnaby Estate is renowned for violence and criminality. I should know – I was born and brought up…
Someone once said that if you search for something your whole life, you’ll only find it when you stop looking. It certainly happened to me. I had never been to Cornwall. And I had also never had a clever, beautiful girlfriend before. That day I was so happy because finally my luck had changed: Caroline…
“Wow, Look at the expression in his eyes. Pure evil. It’s just like looking through the gates of hell!” My boss, consultant Robin Titchbairn, was frowning and shaking his head as his practised fingers slid shut the lids over the staring dead eyes of the man who had abducted, raped and killed five women. “You…
“There! Four crows on the wall. I told you!” “How on earth do you do it?” As we were driving along the country road we passed the four cawing crows on top of the red-brick wall, the exact same picture that had appeared in my mind’s eye a few seconds before we’d seen it. “I…
“AAAAGH!” Hubert yelled as I kicked him in the balls, and then I gave him a jab in his eye with one of my long nails. “NO, means NO!” I told him, secretly proud of my unarmed combat training coming to my rescue when I was alone with this predatory man. “I normally never tell…
Lily bashed the top of her husband’s coffin with her fist as she passed, muttering viciously: “You bastard, may you rot in hell for ever!” Lily paused for a moment, backing off a bit and putting her hands on the timber lid and leaning forwards, as if she was contemplating wrenching off the top of the…
“Sorry Dan we’ve got to let you go.” “But why? What have I done?” “Well, nothing at all really, that’s the point. You’re bone idle. You’re a nice bloke, everyone likes you. But we employ you to sell advertising space for a newspaper and you’ve been here six months, and you haven’t sold a thing. …
When I married you I had no idea you were such a wet bastard,” Tracey fumed. “I thought you had some get up and go.” “So did I. I think it got up and went.” Another day, another row. While my wife Tracey droned on and on I tried to think about something else, mainly…