“So why are you giving a murderer a job?” “I believe that everyone deserves a second chance.” “Even though he strangled his girlfriend?” “He sincerely regrets the terrible thing that he did, said that he was driven into a jealous rage when he found out that she was having an affair with his friend.” “And…
Cinderella
“Hello mate, it’s so good to see you,” said the stranger, as he gave my arm a warm, gentle squeeze of affection. He stared at me, concern in his eyes. “How are you feeling?” “Fine, thanks,” I told the man, a bit bemused that he was behaving as if we were very old, very close,…
Waste of Space
“You’re a useless drip. What have you ever achieved in sixty-five years? We’re still stuck in this tiny flat and you’ve got bugger all to your name. You’re a ridiculous failure, a waste of space, and that’s why I’m leaving you!” “Thanks for saving this up for the day after I retire, and I’m feeling…
The Wrong Turning
No matter how successful your life might be, all it takes is one wrong turning to destroy your destiny. . . (old saying – anonymous) “Ladywood? No, mate, you’re on the wrong road, you’re miles away!” The woman giggled, her breasts almost escaping from the stretched bikini top, her smile as warm and…
Take A Drunk Girl Home
When I saw two men molesting the woman on a park bench, I really didn’t want to get involved, but what else could I do? It was one of those bad, bad days that was only going to get worse. It was almost 8am and I was driving hell-for-leather to the station in our tiny…
The Priest’s Hole
“They’re alive!” That’s probably the most wonderful pair of words you can use if you’re a fireman. I’ve done it a few times now, and it never fails to give me a rush of pure joy. I did save a couple of children once, and it truly was a fantastic feeling. But, just as often…
Misery Breeds Music
“I can’t do it anymore.” “What do you mean?” “What I say. I can’t write songs anymore. I just can’t do it.” “Bloody hell! You bastard! After all I’ve done for you!” Peter, my agent, charged around the luxurious music room in the cellar of my large detached house in London, swearing and cursing to…
Manhunt
When I saw the drowning policewoman, I screeched my car to a halt, leapt out, shrugged off my jacket and shoes. And ran hell-for-leather along the beach into the sea. I’m a strong swimmer, but I knew I couldn’t get to her in time, as I saw her head go under the waves once more. …
Hazel
When my wife died that was the end for me, I didn’t want to go on. I chose the hospital staircase rather than the lift, not wanting to see people. I really didn’t want to talk or have to make eye contact with anyone, because I didn’t want to lose control and break down in…
The Golden Goose
Paul McCartney died in a car crash in 1966 and ever since then, a man who was Paul’s double has been impersonating him in order to keep the Beatles’ career alive. The moon landings actually took place in the Nevada Desert. All the world’s leaders since 1880 are actually lizards, created by the earth’s powerful…