Soulmate

“I’ve never fallen in love before, you see, mate, not hook line and sinker, like this. I had no idea what it was like. Now I know that Jane is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with, no doubts, nor hesitations, this is it, mate, I’ve hit the jackpot.”

I closed my eyes, bunched my fists and forced myself not to punch his stupid lights out.

My best friend Jack really could be an absolute plum sometimes but right now he was playing the fool one time too many.

“Don’t be so bloody stupid, Jack! In case you’ve forgotten you happen to be marrying your girlfriend Betty in three hours at the village church in front of all your friends and family! That’s why we’ve travelled all the way down here last night, after the stag do!”

“But I’m not marrying her. I can’t. Don’t you see?”

“All I see is that over a hundred people have travelled down here for your wedding, it’s cost a bloody fortune, people are relying on you, and you’re going through with it if I have to knock you senseless and fucking you carry you into that church!”

We had been arguing ever since dawn.

Me and my best mate Jack had travelled down to Middlesham in the early hours from our homes in south London. The stag party night last night had been pretty odd, since the prospective bridegroom had disappeared halfway through the evening. Afterwards, on our journey south, he’d explained that he had met this girl, Jane, in the pub and had got talking to her. Apparently she was Australian, travelling in Europe, and they had a lot in common. Then, lo and behold, this morning he’s telling me that the wedding is off, he’s in love with Jane, and they’ll be happy ever after, living either in England or Australia – he doesn’t care about where he lives, whether he can get a job, how poor Betty’s going to feel. All he cares about is being with Jane forever, the selfish bastard.

“You don’t understand,” Jack appealed to me. “I never believed in soulmates before but when I met Jane it was as if I’ve known her forever, as if we’re part of the same person. She needs me. And I need her. I literally cannot live without her.”

“Don’t talk bollocks!” I snapped, my head in my hands. “You don’t even know her! You only met her last night for heaven’s sake, whereas you’ve been living with Betty for two years! Betty is part of your life, she is reality. Jane is a fucking fantasy!”

“Sorry, Martin, but this is it for me,” Jack said. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life before. I know I’m going to make lots of enemies and I’m going to break poor Betty’s heart. I know everyone will hate me, and right now I feel more lonely than I’ve ever felt in my life before. But stick with me please, Martin. For Christ’s sake, mate, don’t you let me down now, when I need you most of all. Think of all we’ve been through together.”

I sighed, realising that he wasn’t going to change his mind. And if ever he needed a best friend it was now, when he was on the verge of bollocksing up his life forever.

“I want to go over to the hotel where Betty and her family are staying, and tell them that the wedding is off,” he told me. “At least I owe her that. I can’t just leave her at the altar. Please, Martin, will you come with me? I need your moral support.”

“Bugger moral support, Jack, you’ll need the SAS for protection. Honest mate, you’ll be lucky if Betty’s brothers and dad don’t rip your bollocks off and stuff them down your throat.”

As we walked across town, I wondered if I’d be able to persuade him to forget all this nonsense and go ahead with the wedding as planned. But as he rambled on about spending his life with the wonderful Jane, how amazing she was, I realised that he was probably having some kind of mental breakdown. Who on earth was this ethereal Jane and what was so special about her? None of his other stag-night friends had seen her. She had approached him outside the pub apparently, then spirited him away to talk. Jack took a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me.

“Look after this, would you? She wrote down her mobile number here,” he told me. “As soon as I’ve bitten the bullet and dropped the bombshell with Betty I’m going to ring Jane and ask her where we go from here.”

“Cloud cuckoo land,” I suggested. “And that’s assuming that Betty’s brothers and dad haven’t murdered you by then.”

He paled a bit and gave a weak smile.

And then, while he was talking fast, a spasm crossed his face, and he clutched at his chest. Then he collapsed to the pavement.

A passer-by saw what had happened and whipped his phone out, yelling to me that he was calling an ambulance.

I knelt beside him. Jack was having difficulty breathing, so I loosened his tie, ripped open his collar.

Then he smiled suddenly, the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen in my life. “She’s here, mate, just look at her! She’s here with me! She’s taking my hand, everything’s wonderful. We’re going away, we’re walking off together. . .”

Then he went totally still.

“They want to know is he breathing?” the stranger on the phone asked anxiously, staring at me,

“Oh fuck, no he isn’t!” I told him, instantly starting the CPR chest compressions I’d learnt in first aid, hoping I was doing it right.

Eventually the paramedics arrived, and they started his heart again, and I travelled with him in the ambulance.

Once I was waiting in the hospital relatives’ room, and Jack had been wheeled away, surrounded by nurses and doctors, I took out my mobile and did the awful phoning, deciding that it would be easiest to phone Betty’s mum and dad, and they would pass on the news to everyone else.

Then, before anyone joined me at the hospital, a doctor came out and gave me the news that Jack had died.

I knew that I had one more ghastly job to do before all Betty’s family arrived and I’d get no privacy at all. Naturally I wouldn’t ever say a word to Betty about Jack’s decision to cancel the wedding, I could at least spare her that pain if nothing else. I was obviously right, that Jack had suffered some kind of mental breakdown, most likely connected with his imminent heart attack affecting his brain.

Right now it was my grisly task to contact the sensational Jane, to tell her the horrible news. It was the last thing I could ever do for Jack, and I’d have to do my utmost to be as kind to the girl as I could possibly be.

I took the paper with the number on it from my pocket and dialled.

“Hello, who is this?” It was a man’s voice.  Sounding wary.  Defensive. 

“Hi, c-could I speak to Jane, please?” I asked him.

“This is Jane’s brother,” he answered. “Since you’re phoning her number I guess you haven’t heard the news yet.”

“The news?”

“I’m sorry, I guess you must be one of her friends. . .There’s no easy way to say it.” I heard him gulping on the line. “Thing is, Jane died in a car accident two days ago. She was travelling in France, they haven’t even released her body yet, we’re here at the moment where it happened. . .”

“B-but I don’t understand. My friend told me that he met Jane here in England, last night. That they became close friends. . .”

“Weren’t you listening? She’s been dead two days, I just told you!” His tone had changed to one of aggression. “Hey, is this some kind of sick joke? Because if it is I’ll—”

“No sir, I swear it’s no joke. Listen, please.” I choked back tears. “I’m the best man at my friend’s wedding, and he’s just suddenly died. Just before he died, he told me that he knew your sister – after all how else did he have her phone number? I’m just as much in the dark as you are, and frankly I’m shell-shocked. And I’m so very very sorry about your sister. I just don’t know what to say.”

“And I’m sorry about your loss, mate, too. Look, I’ve got your number now.” He anger had evaporated. “I’ll text you mine, and let’s talk about all this in a few days, when everything’s settled. I can’t get my head around any of this.”

“Nor me.”

I never did ring him again, and he didn’t ring me.

And afterwards I got to thinking, if there is an afterlife, why shouldn’t people fall in love with each other on the other side, as well as in the physical world? Or even if in some way they’ve got a premonition of their own imminent death? After all, the the word soulmate comes from somewhere. Perhaps it actually does mean something?

All I know is that seconds before he died, when Jack told me that ‘Jane’ was there with him, he was blissfully happy.

Or maybe it’s all nonsense and I’m going crazy.

Do you think I’m crazy?