Geoffrey David West

“No, don’t worry, he doesn’t suspect a thing,” my wife Tracy said to the man. “We can meet up this weekend while the old sod is away on business. The boring old fart is so stupid he has absolutely no idea what I get up to.” I gulped as I held the phone to my…

“So if you hadn’t braked with the dual controls and grabbed the steering wheel we’d have crashed head-on into the bus?” “Yes, I’m afraid so.” “But I am improving aren’t I, John?  You won’t give up on me, like all the other driving instructors have?” “No, Bernard, not to worry, we’ll get there in the…

My life is hell. Ever since I can remember I’ve been looking for something. I hated my mum and dad, who pissed off when I was five. Mum was always yelling at me, so I ran away from home at ten, then when she got me back she started yelling even more, so I yelled…

As I drove down the muddy track the thunderstorm broke, the car went out of control and I lurched into the ditch. The satnav had broken a few miles back, and travelling to this rural part of Devon to my new job was turning out to be a nightmare.  The rain lashed across the windscreen…

I had always loved my Uncle Bill. My earliest memories are of being in his workshop, watching him tinker with old cars, a hobby I went on to enjoy throughout my life. Looking back on it I can see I must have been a nuisance to him, but he had never once made me feel…

I fell in love for the first time when I was ninety-four years old. Ridiculous as it may sound, it’s true. I met the woman I fell in love with, Molly, in hospital, in the cardiac critical care ward, where we were both being held after undergoing heart attacks, which we’d successfully, putatively recovered from….

I died when my motor bike crashed into the wall and I was thrown under the wheels of the bus. One second I was riding along, the next, a screech of brakes and then… What? I was in a big open space. All around me there were people standing around, looking as bemused as I…

“Come on, Peter, come on! “Sorry, sorry, I’m trying my best.  I j-just can’t.” “For heavens sake!  God, what kind of man are you?  How can you leave me up in the air like this?” “I can use the gadget if you like?  You know, that vibrating thing—” “Don’t bother. I’ve gone off the boil anyway…

I met myself in the pub, where I’d gone to celebrate landing the part of handsome middle-aged surgeon Daniel Kane, heartthrob doctor in the brand new TV drama series Doctor Doctor, which everyone was saying was tipped for massive success. Being an actor has its ups and downs, and most of us have more downs…

“Thing is, Jamie, when my wife died, my little girl took it hard.” Ray Tomkins was verging on drunk, chattering away almost to himself, even though he kept leaning towards me, to make sure I was still listening. “How do you explain to a three-year-old that her mummy has gone for ever?” Ray was a…